Today is the day for lovers everywhere. Take time today to let that special person how much (s)he means to you.
In today’s Seattle Times newspaper, the “Ask Amy” column had the results of a survey on how to have a successful marriage. This survey included over 1,200 people, mainly 70 years old or older, who had been married for several decades. Listed below are the five tips they had for a “long and happy marriage.
1. Marry someone a lot like you: Similarity in core values in particular is the key to a happy marriage. And forget about changing someone after marriage.
2. Friendship is as important as romantic love. Heart-thumping passion has to undergo a metamorphosis in lifelong relationships. Marry someone for whom you feel deep friendship, as well as love.
3. Don’t keep score: Don’t take the attitude that marriage must always be a 50-50 proposition; you can’t get out exactly what you put in.
4. Talk to each other: Marriage to the strong, silent type can be deadly to a relationship. Long-term married partners are talkers (at least to one another.)
5. Don’t just commit to your partner, commit to marriage itself: Seeing the marriage as bigger than the immediate needs of each partner helps people work together to overcome inevitable rough patches. ”
This research is from the book, “30 Lessons for Living: Tried and True Advice From the Wisest Americans”. Amy, thank you for publishing such wonderful advice for marriage on Valentine’s Day.