Rev. Janice Carter

Wedding Celebrant and Officiant in the Seattle area

Marriage Regret – How Not to Marry the Wrong Person

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Weddings are a $42 billion a year industry.  Recently, Nightline reported that 30% of divorced women walked down the aisle knowing that she was not marrying the right man.

Why do women go through a wedding that they know is not right?  Many times, they are in love with the idea of getting married, not with the actual man!  They get caught up in the planning and the whole affair takes up a momentum of its own.  They ignore their gut feelings.  They reason themselves out of calling off the wedding.  Some of the most common reasons are:

1.  I don’t want to waste the time I have invested in this relationship.

2.  All my friends are getting married.  I don’t want to be the only one not getting married and I don’t want to be alone.

3.  He’ll change after we get married.  She hopes that marriage will improve the relationship.

4.  It’s too embarrassing or expensive to call off the wedding.

5.  She has wedding planning fever.   She probably enjoyed her wedding dress and all the attention more than her husband-to-be.

Men are also guilty of marrying someone they know is not right for them.  The main reason is that he does not want to disappoint his bride or their families.

Don’t underestimate how painful divorce is.  Many couples walk down the aisle thinking if it doesn’t work out, they can just get divorced.  Getting a divorce is more painful and more expensive than calling off the wedding – even if it is the day of the wedding.   Don’t say “I Do” when you want to say “I Don’t”.

One way to determine whether this is the right person beforehand is to put some planning and thought into the marriage itself, rather than just the wedding.  One good way to do this is to go through premarital counseling.  This will give you the opportunity to explore all the different areas of a relationship and discover the areas of disagreement and work on them beforehand.  If they cannot be resolved, it is time to either call off or postpone the wedding.

No matter where you live, I offer a 16 module pre-marital counseling course that can be done via email or in person.  To find out more about this course, contact me at


Author: Jan Carter

Jan Carter Wedding Officiant Services are no longer available.

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